Kinky

I recently had the pleasure of attending a live performance of Kinky here in San Francisco. This five member band from Monterey, Nuevo Leon, Mexico formed in 1998. While the sound was a little off in the venue, the band itself is extremely legitimate and fueled with Latin America passion. What I want to know is what makes Kinky, so kinky?

Hot boots

I saw these boots on my way to work this morning. These boots are hot.

The Shaved Head Phenomenon

If you're a twenty something year-old gay man (with good skin), when you start losing your hair, it might be in your best interest to shave it all off. It's no surprise that gay men shave their heads when their receding hair line becomes unattractive. And yet, is it just gay men or are straight men understanding the power of attraction that a smooth shaved head brings on?

My whole life I've associated balding with old age. Because I'm not attracted to old men, I've never liked a shaved head on a male. (Old men being of an age that I will not specify; 35 years-old is not old, persay.) However, a close female mentor of mine once said, "It doesn't matter about the hair. The person is either attractive or they're not. It's all in the face." Regardless if our face is still in tact, the fear of losing our hair, to be bald, as men this is hard for us to handle.

Some men grow a beard when they shave their head. Personally, I feel all the proportions are wrong when facial hair is paired with a shiny head. Seeing as this article is a reflection of my internal fears that one day I will be bald, I have come-up with steps men in their twenties can take to prevent or cope with natural balding patterns.

• Propecia: A prescription pill that prevents balding and actually increases hair growth. While this drug sounds like a wonder pill, not only does it cause abnormal hair growth in certain areas, it decreases your libido. A decreased libido? I'd rather live with no hair on my body.
• Zinc: Increased levels of Zinc in males is proven to reduce hair loss. Centrum Silver, rather than Centrum A-Z, actually has increased levels of Zinc and recommended on certain websites that obsess about premature hair loss.
• Rogaine: An expensive but effective way to prevent hair loss so long as you have the kind of hair loss that it helps prevent -- the one that balds at the top of your head. Rogaine has no effect on a receding hairline. At $50 a bottle, the shampoo/foam is effective; however, the moment you stop using the product, your hair starts falling-out again.
• A hat: Wearing a hat out is an excellent way to hide a balding pattern. However, if you're someone like myself, anyone wearing a hat more than once in my presence (socially) is automatically categorized as potentially being bald. While a hat might make you look younger, be careful that it doesn't label you as the bald man trying to hide the inevitable.
• The comb over: My middle school band teacher was the master of this failed illusion. Never, I mean never, attempt to "successfully" pull-off the comb over. This is not possible. While you may be able to fool yourself in the mirror, everyone else knows the truth: you're bald.
• The bald on top and hair on the side: This is what your hair looks like at it's most natural state. It's just okay. This is where the gay card comes into play and the hair is all shaved off. And yet, if you choose not to shave off all your hair, be careful when dyeing the little hair that you have on your head. Remember, when you dye the hair on the the top of your head, you should also color your eyebrows.
• L'Oreal Vive Pro Daily Thickening Shampoo: I use this shampoo because it makes me feel better about my situation. I highly doubt this does anything, by the fact that I feel better after I shampoo -- every other day to prevent excessive drying -- is enough to make me a repeat customer for the $4.00 shampoo.
• Hair dryer: Buddies, I know you think hair dryers are for women, but really, they give your hair body. It goes a long way when covering a receding hairline. You should blow dry your hair whenever you get out of the shower.

As I get older and learn more about the male body, I'm forced to begin embracing that balding is a fact of life. Like everything else, it should be embraced. And yet, perhaps it's like the wrinkles that are potentially forming around my temples or on my brow line; I fear that old age is around the corner. Why is it that I fear ageing? These questions and so many more will keep me entertained for hours.

Expressing interest

Telling someone that you like them, expressing interest, making it clear that they're on your emotional radar, all these expressions are difficult and a calculated risk. It could be anyone: the cute guy checking you in at the gym, your yoga instructor, the dude at the Bart Station with the rad bike or perhaps your quiet (but extremely fashionable) neighbor.

Each day I come across someone I fancy. My coworker, Laura, thinks I'm boy crazy -- aka horny. Let's get one thing straight: I'm always horny. Now that we got that out of the way, let's get back to the issue at hand. When I meet someone random (and in person) that I like, how do I show interest? How do you engage with someone when you like them? And, when I say “like” I’m referring to interested in pursuing a relationship beyond hooking-up for one night. I wish I had the answer. Unfortunately, the only place I feel truly confident is behind a keyboard or on my Blackberry. I can formulate sentences until the day is gone; get me face-to-face with someone I like, suddenly I’m talking about how the weather in San Francisco is only fair today. It’s incredible, the power of emotion that is.

Even though I remain single, I’ve learned a lot about courting perspective partners. First of all, there’s absolutely nothing you can do to control the way they think. There’s a million reasons why someone doesn’t want to be with you, so don’t take it personally. Gay men are complicated and hardly rational. You can be the most amazing catch ever, but if the person is feeling bitchy, there’s nothing you can do. And trust me, gay men can be bitchy. Bitchier than a mean girl, well, the judges are still out on that one.

The best thing you can do is confront the person that you like. Take Jeffrey, the cute boy who checks people in at the gym. He always smiles at me when I talk to him – and in that way that says “I like you. Let’s go get drinks and have fun!” Each time he looks at me, I automatically look at the ground. It’s incredible how at such a crucial moment, a time where eye contact is key, I choose to look at the ground. Why do we do these things?

Another example is my amazingly attractive and incredibly built yoga instructor. For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of watching me perform yoga, well, you’re not missing much. I’m not very good and I laugh at everything. Regardless, there was only 7 of us in the class and we were making eye contact. Amazingly, he ends up having the locker right next to mine. Fate, I know. What do I say? Nothing. I’m a deaf mute that begins wondering if the super gay yoga instructor is in fact gay. Then, when I convince myself that he’s gay, I shy away thinking that he’s clearly taken. This type of thinking, this over-analysis, it gets me nowhere. Nevertheless, each time I reflect on these experiences, I learn how pathetic we homosexuals socially interact.

When it comes to showing interest in one another, gay men are only good at expressing sexual desire. I spend more time dodging sexual advances from gay men who know what they want...SEX! However, when it comes to sharing emotional feelings, feelings about what makes us laugh, these are all lost. As gay men, all we’re good at is reverting back to being the sexual animals that we are.

I'm clearly commenting on how I see the world. However, the conclusions I've made are hardly based on only my personal experiences. Just look at the gay people you know out there, think hard on how they show interest in someone they like. In a strange way, I feel like we've reverted to being middle school girls. Of course, that's an entirely different bag of worms. Until then, the next time you see someone you like, make it count. For those of us like myself who continue to struggle with the physical world, need not worry, online communication is still very much alive.

Steaming Without Being Steamy

I love steam rooms. Always have, always will. There's something about that wet steam, the way it enters your lungs while soothing your aches and pains. It sounds, so, well, homoerotic. That's the point. Steam rooms, at private gyms in San Francisco, are a place where just about everything imaginable takes place. While I've seen a lot, I'm by no means a participant, persay.

Don't get me wrong, I'll enter the steam room. But when some guy is laying on his back, wearing a small white towel and looking at you with sexually suggestive eyes. This can be overwhelming for someone like myself, steaming after I shower, before I shave -- as recommended by the worlds beauty experts to prevent razor burn!

After weeks of looking at just about every gym in downtown San Francisco, I made the decision to sign-up with Club One. It's a wonderful gym, located right off Bart at the Montgomery Street station. Competitive in price with surrounding gyms in the area, Club One has some great features -- including a steam room.

What I've discovered in my two months at this gym is that more happens in the steam room than one would think. Literally. I always thought this was a place to steam; after all, it's a room reserved for steaming. However, behind the doors of the steam room, more happens than catches the eye.

Since having my revelation, my epiphany or whatever else friends like to use at moments like this in my life, I can confidently say that my visits in the steam room are now shorter. People get the wrong idea about individuals who stay too long in the steam room. Considering how long it took me to find a gym, I'm in no hurry to be on bad terms with the clientele. That is, even if I want to steam without being steamy.

Preserving Your Luck on Friday the 13th

Luck is a chance happening, or that which happens beyond a person's control. On certain days, like Friday the 13th, luck is all relative and as concerned members of an inevitably superstitious society, we need to watch ourselves and play carefully. For others, Luck can also be a belief in an organization of fortunate and unfortunate events.

Seeing as today is Friday the 13th, I don't know what to expect. How will my "luck" be today? So far, things have been okay. I got to the Bart Station and bang: there was my train! This was not the case yesterday -- where I waited 10 minutes -- so today, regardless of it being Friday the 13th, just might be my special (and potentially lucky) day.

As humans, we consume ourselves with false social constructs. Because we assume that Friday the 13th is unlucky, everything on this auspicious day is plagued by the belief that it's not going right. I for one will not adhere to this false belief. Rather, I see obtaining good luck as a challenge, and while others might think I'm playing with fire, I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that today will be glorious!

If you're one those people who live in fear that something horrible will happen because today is Friday the 13th, do not worry. Below are some guidelines for what to avoid and what to ensure is done correctly so that we have a prosperous and fortunate Friday the 13th.

• Do not walk under any ladders.
• Avoid black cats walking perpendicular to your direction. If the cat walks along a building, parallel to your direction, this is not unlucky.
• Avoid opening umbrellas indoors. It's going to be a rainy weekend, but opening umbrellas -- in some cultures, like Ireland -- is considered bad luck.
• It's best you don't touch any mirrors today. However, if you do break a mirror, run the broken pieces under water and you'll be saved from any potential bad luck.
• Be sure to look the other person in the eye during a toast. If you don't, this leads to bad sex for the rest of your life.
• Pick-up as many pennies as possible.
• Horseshoes are wonderful.
• Four leaf clovers are your best friend.
• Watch Lindsay Lohan in "Just My Luck".

Sneezing etiquette

It's that time of year again. That glorious time of year when touching anything could lead in a horrible cold for the rest of the week. In an office setting, the sound of sneezing and coughing is all to common. When someone sneezes, it's proper etiquette to say "Bless you." However, what is the protocol when someone sneezes twice in a row? Luckily I have a lot of time on my hands, so allow me to elaborate.

• Someone around you sneezes. Your response: "Bless You."


• Someone sneezes for a second time around you. Your response: Nothing.

Just because someone is horribly sick does not mean they deserve a "Bless you" response to every germ infested blow of air. Unfortunately, some people say "Bless you" to every single sneeze. This is not only annoying, it's unnecessary.

This is what Wikipedia has to say about the history of why we say "Bless You":

• Preventing the soul from departing one's body and getting snatched by evil spirits lurking nearby.
• Preventing possible impending death due to a lethal disease such as the plague pandemics of the fourteenth century.
• Guarding against evil spirits entering the body through the open mouth of a sneezing individual.
• Attempting to bring the sneezing individual back from the brink of death in the brief moment during the sneeze when the heart was -incorrectly- believed to skip a beat, leaving the sneezer momentarily in limbo between states of living and death.
• The belief that the individual is sneezing out evil spirits which had taken residence within the body, and is thus in need of the blessing to prevent the exorcised spirits from re-entering the body.
• The belief that the individual is sneezing out his or her sins, and thus is deserving of the blessing bestowed upon him or her by those around.
• A polite way of congratulating the sneezer for his or her impending good luck as signalled by the sneeze.

Medical Marijuana Dispensary

At 1884 Market Street, medical marijuana is dispensed at convenient hours. A friend of mine lives close to this location, so I witness who walks in and out of this place regularly. Seeing as I'm from the Midwest, a marijuana dispensary remains an issue of interest. I don't care how long I live out here, it's going to take me a while before a dispensary of marijuana -- an otherwise illegal place, reserved for drug dealers in college -- becomes just another stop on the way home from work.

Underground SF

Video footage from "Drunk and Horny" -- the party that takes place every Saturday night at Underground SF.

Protest

This was a photo in the MoMA -- The Museum of Modern Art.

Interesting personalities

I ran into this character outside of Underground SF -- located at 424 Haight Street. He's an attractive guy...what's with the hat? What's more is that I've seen this guy out-and-about before. That means he dresses like this on a regular basis. At least he's confident.

White coals

While I've eaten at countless bbq's, I have less experience executing the whole process by myself. As a result, I have learned a few things regarding grills. Above is the grill located on the back porch/stairwell at my apartment in San Francisco. I made the mistake of lighting the coals too early -- and then going to Dolores Park to meet some friends. When I returned, the coals were white. Having already purchased charcoal at Safeway, I didn't have anymore to refuel the grill. So what is the moral of this story? Turn-on the grill about 30 minutes before everyone wants to eat. If not, you end up having to find more charcoal and spend additional funds.

White coals = charcoals are hot!

Sea Scallops

Sea scallops are my new favorite dish. Once you get over all the butter being used, these little gems of goodness are fantabulous! What's more, tear off a piece of French bread and the deliciousness keeps on going! I was not the chef responsible for the creation above; but rather, Andre Joffroy is the genius behind this work of love.

Tunnel Top

I'm always looking for bars that are easy access post work on Friday evenings. Tunnel Top, located at 601 Bush Street (Nob Hill/Union Square), is a pleasant find. While the bar has a hole-the-wall vibe, the chandelier is not only clever, it's one of the most simple and creative uses of the otherwise tired wine bottle decoration I've seen in a while.

Fire and Clowns Don't Mix

The general public does not like clowns. Clowns should not have fire in their hands. Ever.

Unpractical Lighting

There are hundreds of creative ways we can illuminate a room. Attaching a light bulb to a toilet plunger, then sticking the suction side towards a storefront window -- that's different. Modern art is not always practical, but it's wicked cool.

You're Fired! But Your Outfit's Great

A wonderful friend of mine from college, living in Thailand, recently posted this to my Facebook profile. This article appeared in the NY Times on February 3rd.

You’re Fired! But Your Outfit’s Great
By Ben Widdicombe

Everett Collection Hi, Peter. What’s happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports.
Tough times make for tough fashion choices, but none more difficult than what to wear on the day you get the chop. Sometimes it can be an excuse for a fashion moment — like Marie Antoinette, who famously wore all white to the guillotine. (Contemporaries noted her ramrod bearing and hair turned snowy white from stress, like a stately Carmen del’Orifice on a one-way trip off the end of the catwalk.) Others, like the recently terminated Village Voice fashion writer Lynn Yaeger, feel that they missed their chance to make a sartorial exit statement.“With advanced warning, I could have done an outfit,” she told a reporter from the New York Observer after parting from her employer of 30 years. “For me, a shredded Comme des Garçons look or a more sober gothic nun sort of thing would have been more appropriate.”
Only a few short years ago, bright young things all over the country were talking about what to wear to the revolution. Dot-com dollars made the college-slacker look positively aspirational: even middle-aged executives were slouching into the office in jeans and a hoodie, trying to look like they belonged to some Seattle frat house with the initials I.P.O.

These days, it’s all about what to wear to the execution. Somehow those scuffed Chucks don’t seem so ironic if your employment trajectory might actually include working at Foot Locker.
The perfect termination outfit should feature professionalism and employability as the top note, but with accents of confidence and an aftertaste that leaving the premises means moving on up. A sober suit with a bright shirt is perfect.

It is also important, when anticipating bad news, not to wear a favorite piece of clothing, which will forever be associated with an unpleasant memory. Is there a pair of shoes in the back of your closet, still brand new after a year because they never quite fit? Today’s their day to shine.
I have some personal experience with this particular fashion challenge. In mid-January my contract with a national magazine was due for renewal, and amid sharp cutbacks I had no illusions that I would be kept on board.

That day I decided to steer a middle course between Yaeger and the ill-fated Queen of France: nothing too funereal, but maybe not carefree winter white, either. For me that was a 10-year-old Brooks Brothers charcoal suit, which for all its fussing and tailoring has never hung quite right. (Also — pleated trousers! What was I thinking?) But it is a fine suit to be fired in, as well as for court dates and weddings you don’t really want to be at. An optimistic blue Dolce & Gabbana shirt completed the ensemble.

Of course, things have a way of turning out not quite as expected.

As I had imagined it, I would get the bad news in person after making a work-related call at the midtown studios of Fox News Channel. But at 1 p.m., just after I had entered a restroom in the News Corporation building, my phone rang.
 I was terminated in a brief, cordial chat with my editor. It was only a minute later, after I had hung up the phone, that I thought to mumble to myself alone in the men’s room, “But what did you think of the suit?”

Let us know, in the comments section below, what you would wear to cause a termination sensation. Would you get suited to get booted, or take a more casually disdainful approach?

<http://themoment.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/02/03/youre-fired-but-your-outfits-great/?ex=1249275600&en=fc3e07e57f05ceb0&ei=5087&WT.mc_id=TM-D-I-NYT-MOD-MOD-M080-ROS-0209-HDR&WT.mc_ev=click>

Unemployment and martinis

Macy's will now operate under one company headquartered out of Cincinnati, Ohio and New York City. Macy's West, East, Central and Florida are now streamlined under Macy's Inc. February 1st marks the first day of the new fiscal year for Macy's Inc. and also the last day of Macy's West.

The restructuring of Macy's Inc. resulted in 7,000 job losses across the United States effective May 1st. The New York Post recently published an article with the following quote:

"Macy's divisions are like martinis," one top industry executive told The Post. "Four is too many. Two makes you feel good. But one is probably the best idea."

Yoga in Dolores Park

I always thought that the euber eccentric people were acting. Never did I think they were that weird. All this was proved wrong as I was sitting in Dolores Park this past Saturday. Above is a guy, dressed in women's clothing, doing yoga exercises in the middle of the park. They appeared to have a daughter close by who was crawling around with some mutt. What I once thought strange, different, and foreign is now slowly becoming familiar. This is how it all begins, I start conforming to what is different and suddenly, well, I become someone from San Francisco!

Sick as a dog and still golden

So this was probably the most amazing three day weekend I ever had. Sure, I was sick on Friday -- I had one of those virus type head colds -- but with the proper medicine in my system, I was good as gold. The following is my over the counter recipe for dealing with head colds:

Morning:

• Mucinex 12 hour pills -- take one in the morning with 2 glasses of water (I guess the medicine does not work without lots of water in your system.)
  
• Day Quill -- Two in the morning, and two every 4 hours after that


• Claritin D -- after providing a photo ID to obtain the controlled substance, take one in the morning and it will keep you congested free for 24 hours


• Advil -- Take as needed for sore throat


• EmergenC -- 1 packet every 2 hours throughout the day.
  

Bed time:

• Tylenol PM -- 2 glorious pills before going to bed


• NyQuil -- Two of these before going to bed as well


• Benadryl -- Oh what the hell, 2 of these can't hurt before going to bed...
  

Sure, when I told my boss what I was taking before going to bed she mentioned that I might be uncomfortably close to pulling a Heath Ledger. But you know what? It was 65 - 70 degrees this weekend and I was sure as hell not staying inside. The worst part is that for the first time in my life I had to pay for all these medicines out of my own pocket! Oh well, beats being sick in the East Coast ice storm.