Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Pets: How much is too much?

Death is part of life and everyone has his or her own coping mechanism for dealing with such a tragedy. Residents of San Francisco take this to the next level: The Presidio of San Francisco Pet Cemetery. Don't get me wrong, I love pets like Kibble (see below) and I'm sure she made a great lap dog. Nevertheless, pets are not humans and in San Francisco -- as is the case in other places as well -- I'm flabbergasted at the degree to which humans treat their pets.

I've beaten to death the phenomenon of dog parks in San Francisco. Whether you're looking to get laid or hoping to fill some seats at a dinner party, you can always find a friend at a dog park -- right after they bend over and pick-up some dog shit. Pets are a great way to meet people; however, when pets replace the need to be in a relationship with another human, this is the slippery slope that makes me skeptical.

I'm not an animal hater. I like dogs and love to ride horses. (See, I'm not a hater.) However, sometimes I find animals serving as the glue binding an otherwise failing relationship or better yet, unlucky attempt at finding a compatible mate in this jungle called life. And yet, as humans, is it necessary that our soul mates be another human? My opinion: yes.

Humans bring to the table something that animals cannot. Life needs to be shared with somebody else -- a human whose level of appreciation stretches beyond tail wagging or licking its caretakers fingers. The problem that arises is that pets fulfill the emotional void in a human-to-human relationship faster, more economically and with less obstacles (potty training being the most difficult). I'm not referring to children here -- which is a whole different scenario -- but more the relationship between a single human and their pet.

Taking this one step farther, there are some people who argue that humans are capable of having an emotional and even physical relationship with an animal. Entirely avoiding the discussion of bestiality, I do think it's possible to have an emotional relationship with a pet, but nothing on the level that which can be achieved in a human relationship. Therefore, while I understand the need to mourn the death of a pet, I do think it's important to keep in mind that a pet is nothing more than a less evolved mammal that hardly deserves the attention it already gets in San Francisco: too much.

Wedding Photography on Baker Beach

I always knew that wedding photographers took photos of brides on Baker Beach. After all, with the stunning views of the Golden Gate Bridge and the Pacific Ocean right in front of you, what's not to love -- or be loved.

Seeing as deep down I aspire to be involved with the paparazzi, below is an incredibly unnecessary documentation of a wedding photographer taking photos of a bride blinded by the illusion of true love.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

A new adventure

March 2009 marks one year that I have lived in San Francisco. I created "Out & About: San Francisco" after experimenting with two previous blogs. I enjoy writing in this blog, documenting my adventures here in San Francisco as I experiment with different writing styles. However, it's time I transition into a new project: a television show.

I'm posting this on my blog because I'm hoping to utilize this form of communication -- an online community with an international perspective -- as I attempt to write something I've never done before. Writing in a blog is similar to writing in a journal; however, writing a television show, with characters and plots, this is totally different. I hope to continue posting pictures on this blog, but I also plan on using this page as a forum to share ideas. Hopefully, as I begin posting ideas about what to include in the television show (about San Francisco -- more on that to come soon), friends and followers of this blog can also provide their input. After all, the more opinions and different perspectives I garner in the brainstorming phase, the stronger the script. My ultimate goal is to discuss gay culture on a level that can be easily identifiable to any gender, demographic or religion.

As I begin this exploratory phase, I find myself looking back at the escapades I've had in my lifetime. Friends, we've had some wicked crazy rides. Now, I'm hoping to share those adventures, experiences and always entertaining outcomes. Join me as I embark into the unknown and attempt to make something out of nothing. After all, what the hell else am I supposed to do with my free time? I'm told we have one year before we get out of this recession. What better time to start then now.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Serendipitous creativity

Idle hands are the devil's playground. Sure, this is true in some instances, but imagine what is possible when unexpected free time -- supported by severance -- comes knocking on your door?
Below is a New York Times article that entertains this serendipitous idea where free time can potentially lead to creative genius during a recession.

March 16, 2009

Big City
No Jobs, but a Wealth of Time, Creativity and Now a Film

By SUSAN DOMINUS

When Kirsten Major and three friends decided they were going to go ahead and make a short film she had written, she asked if they thought they might all be able to find some time to shoot in the next few days, even though that would mean taking time out of the workweek. The four collaborators looked at one another at the coffee shop and realized that, yes, as a matter of fact, they were all free the very next day, and every day after that for the foreseeable future.

Whatever problems unemployment may create, scheduling conflicts are not among them. Adam Lehman, a 27-year-old executive assistant who lately cannot even find temp jobs, was pretty sure he could squeeze in a meeting whenever it was convenient for everyone else, even if it cut into the time he and his roommate (also newly unemployed) were spending perfecting the moves to BeyoncĂ©’s “Single Ladies” dance. Josh Koll, who is also 27 and had been laid off from a lighting design firm a few months earlier, knew his regular Bravo reality television regimen could wait. Ms. Major, 42, whose previous day jobs had been with nonprofit organizations, and who had been looking for work for months, could give herself permission to take time off from the musical she was writing on spec.

The problem they had all expected, at first, was working around the schedule of Joshua Helmin, a 26-year-old assistant managing editor at Parents magazine, whom Ms. Major hoped would star opposite Mr. Lehman in the 15-minute romantic film, “Jonathan, Just Because.” But then Mr. Helmin lost his job to cutbacks, too. “When we found out, we were all like, ‘Awwwww,’ ” Mr. Lehman recalled last week as he sat with cast and crew at the coffee shop in Hell’s Kitchen where they frequently meet. “Then we were like, ‘Yaaaay!’ ”

The four friends take comfort in numbers, even as they watch certain numbers go down — how many weeks left of severance pay; how much in the savings accounts. But they take even greater comfort in getting one another out of their respective apartments, where each had been napping, despairing or hip-hop dancing in increasingly significant expanses of time.
Ms. Major had always wanted to write a film, and had always wanted Mr. Koll, who has some experience as a freelance videographer, to direct it. But it was not until she was seriously unemployed that she had the creative space to write the script, and the nerve to make it happen. “I would not have done this unless I’d lost everything,” she said.

CALLING themselves the W.P.A. Players, they worked on a budget of exactly zero dollars and zero cents. Yet from nothing came something: They lighted one scene with a floor lamp from Ikea, persuaded a cafe manager in the East Village to let them shoot there free — it’s not like there was much business there these days, anyway — and took advantage of the city’s familiar glory for sets. Shooting the skyline from the Brooklyn promenade, Mr. Helmin said, “made me realize how lucky we are to be in New York City. I mean, ‘Gossip Girl’ used that shot several weeks in a row, and now it is ours.”

Granted, that is probably not the reference that most of us have in mind when a glimpse of the skyline triggers strong emotions, but his point speaks to something enduring about the city: Even unemployment can feel burnished by the setting. To be an out-of-work artist in New York is to be part of a grand tradition, and that history no doubt helps fuel aspirants like Ms. Major and her friends, who might otherwise succumb to fear of failure.

Some of the artwork that will come out of all this free time for creative types is probably painfully bad, and some may be masterpieces that the world would otherwise never have seen, but all of it will do something for the people who make it. “Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, the major prize of this film is that we did it and now we know we can,” said Mr. Koll. “Unemployment gave that to me.”

There are also practical advantages that come with being unemployed in the media capital of the country — everyone knows something about how to promote themselves or knows someone who knows someone, which is how the four friends got Therapy, a gay bar in Hell’s Kitchen, to sponsor a premiere of the film, scheduled for Sunday; persuaded a representative from the Logo cable channel to attend the premiere; and convinced a popular Web site, towleroad.com, to carry the film.

The plot, Ms. Major said, is simple: two men who take a chance on each other. The inspiration is pretty straightforward. “Both characters are heartbroken,” she said. “They have no money, they don’t have a lot to give. Everyone’s a little desperate.”
“And in the end,” added Mr. Helmin, “it all works out.”

Monday, March 9, 2009

Missed Connections

Anytime I'm walking around, no matter what the circumstance, it's an opportunity to meet somebody new. We can only gain from the experience of meeting someone new. Not everyone we meet delivers the kind of stimulation we desire -- like a homeless person asking for money. Even then, interacting with a complete stranger is exciting. After all, isn't the prospect of the unknown what keeps this sometimes repetitive and monotonous life entertaining?

In an effort to meet as many new people as achievable, I'm exploring every possible form of communication. The most standard way of communicating is through people we already know. For example, a friend introduces you to their friend and suddenly you've met somebody new. While the reasons we meet new people may vary, we are still utilizing human interaction to connect us with somebody new. Why limit ourselves to the methods of social interaction utilized by those that came before us? We have the technology, let's get out there and use it to our advantage.

Those of you who know me personally, I'm always asking friends of friends and everybody else in between if they know any single gay men. In my defense, while San Francisco is a city densely saturated with gay men, meeting new and interesting personalities on a level beyond a cordial exchange of information is rare. While my expertise lay in San Francisco's homosexual social scene, meeting new people (gay or straight) is challenging for everybody. Knowing this, how do we meet promising strangers in San Francisco?

Missed Connections is a feature on Craig's List that allows complete strangers an opportunity to communicate after the fact. What this means is that walking past somebody anonymously, looking at someone in the eyes with interest, these no longer need to be mere acts of expression. There is now hope for reuniting an otherwise missed connection.

Last week, running on the treadmill at my gym, it just so happened that the person running next to me was an attractive male whom I've seen before. How do I express interest with this person? Because we're both running on a treadmill and wearing headphones, the opportunity to get to know one another -- on a level beyond casual glances -- is limited.

Intrigued by the idea that I was humanly incapable of connecting with someone physically in my presence, later that night I went to Missed Connections on Craig's List. This is what I posted:

24+ male running on the treadmill next to me at Club One (Sansome) - m4m - 23 (financial district)Date: 2009-03-02, 10:34PM PST

You're a 20 something year-old male, muscular, you were running next to me on the treadmill. I never talk to anyone when I'm at the gym. Nobody does really. You seem like a quiet guy. I'd like to get to know you better.

My "Missed Connection" took place at 6:30PM and I posted on Craig's List around 10:30PM. By midnight, I received the following email:

hey -
i randomly searched for club one on craigslist and saw your ad - i doubt I'm your man but thought I'd give it a shot - i always wondered if anyone actually found anyone via missed connections!

so, i don't really want to tell you who i am just out of sheer embarrassment of being exposed on the Internet, but i AM a 25 year old male who sadly spends more than his fair share of time at club one... let me know your mystery man's stats and I'll tell you if i fit the bill :)

After a few email exchanges, this person (Chris) was actually a member of a different Club One in the city. Nevertheless, this attempt at reconnecting on a technologically evolved level is exciting. People, at least in San Francisco, are beginning to utilize more abstract forms of communication.

Like any form of digital communication, a learning curve exists for new users. As a result, advanced forms of communication and networking -- texting, Craig's List, online dating/chat rooms, Facebook, Linked In, Twitter, etc. -- are only able to evolve as quickly as they become user friendly. Likewise, the social stigma surrounding progressive forms of communication, this is a sociological conundrum whose factual base is yet to be fully determined.

San Francisco is a relatively small city with a strong technological influence. The gay social scene is even smaller so reconnecting with a "stranger" can very easily become a new friend with enough degrees of separation. Craig's List, based out of San Francisco, is undeniably influenced by the city's social tendencies. Missed Connections, therefore, while it might seem odd in any other city, here in the Bay Area, it's hardly something that should be stigmatized. The sooner we embrace new forms of communication the faster our society will evolve into a more advanced culture. Of course, this is coming from somebody who considers a more "advanced" society as one where I'm not single.