Gay Dating Has A Learning Curve

Dating someone on the weekends is different than seeing someone during the week. Weekend dating -- aka honeymoon dating -- consists of lazy Saturday and Sunday mornings, delicious brunches, afternoon hikes and daytime bar hopping. Just when you start getting sick of each other, you can find refuge back at your own apartment.

Dating during the week is a little more complicated. Because I'm not swimming in extra cash, eating out is limited to weekends and special occasions. Sure, I could date someone who'd pay for all my meals, thereby allowing me to spend more time with them during my regular meal time. Even then, it's a slippery slope when an intimate partner starts buying you things -- even if it's just dinner during the week.

A sleepover during the week is a healthy way to nurture a budding relationship -- especially if something beyond weekend honeymoon dating is desired. Of course, sleeping over outside of your apartment is a production that requires planning for successful execution. The following are a list of weekday sleepover issues:

1) Clothing: If I wear an outfit to work during the day, I cannot spend the night somewhere else wearing the same outfit. Therefore, upon arriving home from work, the first thing I do is determine what I'll wear the next day. That way, if I decide to spend the night somewhere, I can at least guarantee that I will have a change of clothes in between two work days.

2) Toiletries: Gay men love grooming products. I go to the gym in the morning before work, so if I have a sleepover, I make sure to bring my toiletry bag. Shaving cream, razors, lotion, deodorant, toothpaste, toothbrush, etc. are all crucial to my daily grooming routine -- and together they weigh a lot! Unfortunately, my "murse" -- aka Male Purse/messenger bag -- does not easily fit all these products. Sooner than later I will discover how to get ready in a gym locker room without my usual products. The learning curve for my new urban nomadic lifestyle might take a few more months to perfect.

3) Pets: As a young gay male, I don't require the emotional stability a pet provides in a relationship. I don't have a pet, and I don't want a pet anytime soon. However, if I'm sleeping somewhere that has a puppy -- that's used to getting all the owner's attention -- it's you versus the puppy. As it turns out, the puppy normally wins.

4) Bathroom: Everyone does their own thing in their own bathroom. When you sleep somewhere else, the process of using the bathroom changes. This is a hurdle easily overcome for some people. For others, however, this can make or break a relationship.

5) Food: I'm one of those people who have to eat a minimum of three meals a day. When I'm home, I make sure that I buy enough food to fuel my metabolism -- sometimes more than enough. When you're dating someone, spending time at their place, you're not eating your own food and forced to eat what they eat. Over the weekend I had enough with the "Let's just wait for lunch" line, so I walked myself over to the local Safeway to buy myself the breakfast essentials. Of course now I eat breakfast at work. You see, there is a learning curve to dating!

In the end, I'm young and having fun as I make sense of San Francisco's exciting gay dating scene. Now, the question of when to end a weekday sleepover regimen, that's something I've yet to discover but will probably experience in the near future. Dating is unpredictable, and while I'd like to pretend I know what I'm talking about, I can only comment on past events. We'll see what happens as I look forward, into the future, and to that which is unknown.